Wesley Kew

Clinical Psychologist

About Wesley

Everything changes when you start to emit your own frequency rather than absorbing the frequency around you…

I am a Clinical Psychologist registered with the Health Professions Council of South Africa. I completed my studies at NMMU in Port Elizabeth and have been in Private Practice since 2014.

In today’s ‘hustle and bustle’ life, we often forget what an amazing gift life actually is and we begin to live the same day over and over calling it life which can lead to losing touch with oneself. As we live through the eyes of others, we forget to value who we are, what we believe and what we stand for.

My therapeutic approach seeks to help people gain a greater understanding of ‘who’ they are, by uncovering early relationships that may contribute to present difficulties. Projecting a past relationship onto a current one causing one to experience and react to the present as if it were the past. The past may no longer be “real,” but our memories, emotions and experiences still exert a strong emotional pull.

Once we understand that our present feelings about others are influenced by what has gone before, we can better separate the past from the present, thus freeing us from our baggage to enjoy present relationships for what they truly are.

Understanding each individual’s unique relational needs is facilitates healing to occur in the relationship.

I concentrate on, but am not limited to work in, the following areas:

Adult Therapy

 

Therapy by its very definition is misunderstood. People often think that therapy means you have to divulge deep dark secrets and who knows what else. In fact the word Therapy is derived from the Greek word THERAPEIA meaning HEALING.

 

Healing is a much more accurate understanding and description of what is meant when referring to therapy. In therapy a meeting of two individuals creates a healing space, as we united and together journey towards healing, because you are the expert regarding your life.

 

I believe and practice from the point of view that each individual has all the resources they need to achieve whatever they want. All to often the humdrum and banality of everyday life grinds our motivation to an all time low. It is here that healing begins as together we again highlight and bring forward the superhuman abilities that have been dormant (in you) for to long. Yes, you have abilities beyond your wildest imagination and together we shall bring them forth.

 

Added to this the various stressor of life can begin to encroach on unrelated areas. This is seen when work stress may begin to impact on your personal life or when personal difficulties begin to encroach on work performances. It is here that we begin to understand how past relationships, experiences and traumas may be impacting our current lived experience.

 

Stressors that may be detracting from your happiness are:

  • Work related stress
  • Bullying at work
  • Assertiveness issues
  • Work-life counter balancing
  • Depression
  • Anger
  • Specific phobias
  • Marital difficulties
  • Sexual and intimacy difficulties

 

Should you desire to achieve the happiness that you once had or believe you deserve, contact me on 073 138 55 36 or wesleykew@gmail.com because you are worth it.

NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming)

 

NLP is an approach focused on understanding and reproducing successful patterns of behaviour. Added to this, its seeks to empower individuals, highlight effective communication patterns, highlighting links between limiting beliefs and past experiences and how to create new desired outcomes.

 

NLP makes use of many psychological principals and was created and refined by linguists, therapists and those with an insatiable curiosity to understanding what drives people to do what they do.

 

As you have by now worked out NLP is made up of three parts:

  • Neuro: this alludes to the almost innumerable amount of neurons that we have inside of our brains, these neurons facilitates every action and thought in your bodies. Moreover, research has highlighted the plasticity of our brains, meaning that we can change the connections that have formed in our brains via consciously using language and specific physical movements.
  • Linguistic: this is one of the most powerful tools I have gained from my training and research in NLP, the use and power of language. But not just any words being uttered, using language consciously and being aware that the words you speak can create your every existence. Not only do you get to understand the way you construct your world via language, you will be informed and given access to how others create and shape their worlds via their use of language.
  • Programming: basically, the way that one was programmed during ones formative years has created ingrained patterns. Imagine if you will that you are a CD or LP for those similar in age. The grooves that have been created or burnt into you, may seem permanent, however, they can be over-written, in essence facilitating us to re-programme ourselves.

 

I could try WOW you with big words and a host of strategies and techniques available to me as an NLP practitioner but in short NLP is an interpersonal approach. Where the healing occurs as two individuals establish rapport and engage in the NOW. This is also referred to as working mindfully or being in the present moment. When we are able to cut ourselves off from the distractions that surround us we begin to listen to the energy and power that is available to us at all times.

 

NLP will prove valuable to a vast spectrum of individuals ranging from high-powered CEO’s to the humble entrepreneur seeking to more authentically connect with their customers. Added to this NLP is a perfect fit for sportsmen and women, sales people and parents wanting to gain a deeper insight into their children or spouses.

 

Sport Psychology

 

As you know, there is an intimate link between our minds and our bodies. What you may not know is that research has highlighted that our bodies influence our minds to pretty much the same extent that our minds influence our bodies. It is here that I bring a unique and empirical approach to my work as an expert in the field of sports psychology. Added to this I was a professional athlete and have an intimate knowledge of what it takes to perform at the highest levels.

 

I have worked with many international coaches and athletes, gaining knowledge and experience regarding injury management, overcoming injuries, getting through a slump and most vitally how to stay on top! The down side to this is the knowledge that currently there are many sporting codes in South Africa that are reluctant to engage with the mental side of sports. This despite the most successful international teams (NZ Rugby, Team SKY, TEAM GB, Olympic Team USA etc.) in the world openly admitting that they are massive exponents of the mental side of sport.

 

Take a moment to think about the amount of time any professional athlete invests in physically training, it may border on thousands of hours a year. More if you take into account planning diets and travel times. Now ask these same athletes how much time they spend focusing on concentration exercises, visualization or just even breathing? Added to this one must be cognizant of the fact that decision-making is a skill and can be learnt. It is here that my blend of professional sports, NLP training and psychology add immense value.

 

Skills I’ll add to any athletes mental arsenal:

  • How to set clear goals (think globally, act locally)
  • Using empowering language
  • Visualisation
  • Being calm under pressure
  • Accurate decision making
  • Breathing techniques
  • Pre-match routines
  • Anxiety control
  • Confidence
  • Understanding how motivation works

 

Acquiring these skills are not limited to only the sports field. I'm a firm believer in a holistic approach to success. When one begins to find synergy between life both on and off the field, great success is soon to follow!

 

Its not just a matter of willpower or grit, research and experience has taught the best that there are proven psychological and NLP principals that increase and sustain long-term success.

 

Do you want to take the next step in your sporting career, because if you do contact me on 073 138 55 36.  Remember that mastering these skills may be just what you need to turn your dreams into achievable goals.

Teen/Adolescence Education

 

Research has highlighted ’just how different the teenage brain really is’. Recent investigation highlights that the teenage brain has not fully developed and thus they neurologically differ in their construction of thought and reasoning versus the adult brain.

 

So if you have thought that understanding your teenage child was at times frustrating and down right impossible, rest assured that it is not just you. Have you ever thought about how your child is experiencing this highly confusing time? Add to this the ever-present mass media, puberty and peer pressure. It is not too surprising that this is a confusing time for both adults and teenagers.

 

It is important to highlight that teenagers just like adults go through various phases in life. Recognising the phase that your child may be going through is vital. As children grow they will experience changes in their mood, behaviours and even their taste buds. Some of these changes will be relatively predictable and other less so.

 

In my work with teenagers and adolescent’s I seek collaboration with the caregivers. Together we can insure that the child’s best interest is always the desired outcome and primary objective. In todays extremely competitive world there are pressures on today’s children that did not even exist as little as 15 years ago. I seek to not only educate but highlight the inner strengths and resources that lay dormant inside awaiting to burst forth.

 

I shall assist them in learning healthy coping strategies and fostering understanding regarding confusing emotions, thoughts and experiences. As adults we often forget and take for granted the lessons we leant along our own path of maturity.

 

Some areas that may cause distress in the modern teenager are:

  • School related stress and Bullying
  • Divorce
  • Substance use among peers
  • Peer pressure
  • Becoming Sexually active
  • Eating disorders
  • Neglect of abuse
  • Death of a caregiver

 

In therapy I shall focus on building strengths and replicating strategies that foster healthy living and encourage resourcefulness e.g.:

  • Developing health self esteem
  • Improving relationships with peers/authority figures
  • Communication patterns
  • Thinking styles/Reasoning
  • Understanding motivation
  • Coping with stress
  • Solidifying their sense of self and belief in their abilities

 

Do you want to give your child the competitive edge, increase their self-knowledge and development because you know the value of mature thinking? Contact me on 073 138 55 36 to schedule an appointment. Investing in your child’s development and well-being is one of the best investments you will make.

Couples Therapy

 

As anyone that has been in a committed relationship knows, there is no hard and fast set of rules that if followed guarantee success. However, there are certain guidelines that may facilitate long-term happiness and companionship.

 

To better understand the value of couples therapy, think about it like this; if you had to ask an ant that is walking along the back of an elephant to describe the nature of the surface, what would they have to say? They may be able to describe the immediate surface by touch or by sight, but would they know that they are on the back of an elephant, I wager not. Relationships are very similar.

 

So often we are embroiled and deeply invested in what we believe we are adding to the relationship and what the other may not be doing or completely oblivious to our influence. It is here that therapy adds an outside perspective or just a fresh insight into old beliefs. Not only does therapy add to creating a deeper insight into the others world view, it also facilities with:

  • How to deal with conflicts
  • How to communicate authentically and effectively
  • Enhancing emotional connections
  • Highlighting relationship strengths
  • Increasing physical and emotional intimacy

 

Many myths exist regarding the success rate of marital/couples therapy. The fact of the matter is that many couples try therapy as the very last resort and half-heartedly invest in the process. The truth is that when both parties enter into the therapeutic process authentically and with a desire to understand how they may be impacting the relationship, healing and growth will occur.

 

As the old adage goes ‘it takes two to tango’. Both parties must take responsibility for their own actions and the part they played in the relationship. When this occurs the first steps can be taken to create a companionate love that is willing to:

  • Change their view of the current relationship
  • Transformation dysfunctional behaviour
  • Sidestep emotional avoidance
  • Improve communication
  • Focus on each others strengths

 

Relationship therapy is greatly beneficial to any kind of intimate relationship regardless whether partners are gay, straight, mixed-race partnerships, young, old, recently started dating or married for 20 years.

 

Most couples will come away from the therapeutic process having gained insights into themselves, their behaviours, interaction patterns and newly acquired skills that will facilitate increased happiness and fulfilment, within the relationship. help for resolving particularly d